


Slowly, And Then All At Once

by steveandbucky



Series: Stucky Drabbles [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hooking up, Light Angst, Living Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve has a big ridiculous crush on his best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandbucky/pseuds/steveandbucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky starts adjusting to his new life, while living in Steve's apartment; Steve starts realising he may have a bit of a crush on his best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slowly, And Then All At Once

**Author's Note:**

> sort of a sequel to [this ficlet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2277609/chapters/5005023), but it makes sense if it's read on its own!

 

Steve gets Natasha’s number off Clint.

Well, not exactly. He calls Clint in a last desperate attempt to find a solution to his problem – which isn’t really a problem, but more on that later - and gets _a_ number off of Clint, and the instructions to call the number, wait for a minute, and then hang up, and expect a call back within 24 hours. All that does is suggest that Nat’s gone way underground and Steve shouldn’t be expecting her to be of much help. Which sucks, because there’s really no one left for him to turn to.

The problem isn’t really a problem. In fact, for once in his life, everything seems to be going well, with no major unexpected or catastrophic incidents. Maybe there are some minor setbacks, and things aren’t perfect, but they’re as good as they can get, and even if the last few weeks have been hard, Steve knows that things are headed in the right direction.

Bucky starts adjusting in slow but steady steps. Sometimes he finds things about the modern world that he likes and shows Steve, or he remembers something about the old times that he misses and shares his nostalgia with his best friend. Sometimes Steve wakes up in the middle of the night to find Bucky lying on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression on his face. Sometimes he finds that Bucky’s taken off in the middle of the night, and returns in the morning with dark circles under his eyes and that distant, far-off look in his eyes. Sometimes he comes home to find that Bucky’s remembered something from his past, and he holds him through the experience, reassuring him that none of it was his fault, and that he’s okay now. Sometimes he comes home to find that Bucky’s forgotten everything, and he sits down and explains everything over and over again.

Sometimes, though, Bucky switches back into Winter Soldier mode. He hasn’t completely recovered from the programming they’d so deeply integrated in his brain, and Steve knows that, but each times it happens, it’s unexpected, and catches him by surprise. Bucky becomes volatile, aggressive, and violent. Each and every time, though, Steve manages to pull him out of it.

And Steve thinks, they’re doing okay, they’ll be fine - until _The Problem_ presents itself.

Steve catches himself staring at his friend for a little too long, he finds that they touch a little more often than is strictly necessary, that they shift closer together on the couch when watching TV before bed. Most shockingly, he finds himself with his hand wrapped around himself, under the steaming hot water in the shower, with the image of Bucky’s face flashing in his mind and his name slipping from his lips as he comes over his hand. Steve stumbles back until he leans with his back against the shower tiles and curses out loud as he finally realizes, and accepts, his less-than-platonic feelings towards his best friend.

An involuntary smile curls his lips when he sees Bucky walk into the kitchen in the morning while pulling his hair up in a messy bun, or when he borrows Steve’s hoodies when he gets cold. He stares with wide eyes when Bucky walks out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his hips, or when he takes in the sight of Bucky’s ass covered only by the thin layer of his sweatpants. He chokes on nothing at all Bucky takes out the peanut butter out of the fridge and dips a finger in, then proceeds to lick it off.

The end of the day finds Steve in the shower, jerking himself off again, except this time he plays out the scenario in his mind. Bucky on his knees, with his mouth slightly open and staring at him with lustful eyes before he grabs Steve’s cock in his hand and then swallows it whole. It’s too intense, too strong, too much, and Steve comes harder now, his voice echoing in the bathroom as he shouts out Bucky’s name again.

There’s a knock on the door and Steve freezes in his spot. “Yes?” he answers in a shaky voice.

“You called?”

“Shit,” Steve whispers under his breath. He washes his hands quickly and turns the tap to cold, letting the water wash over his face in hopes it will bring him to his sense. “Um,” he calls out eventually. “Yeah, um, never mind!”

He hears no response, so he takes a deep breath, thanking his lucky stars that Bucky didn’t realize what was going on.

This continues for a few weeks, and the images won’t seem to stop; he pictures Bucky spread out in front of him on his bed or on his knees with his mouth around his cock. He thinks of them sleeping together and waking up to each other, wrapped up in one another’s arms. He starts losing it, when, after picturing the two of them dressed in tuxedos slow dancing at their wedding, he realizes that he is in fact, completely and truly falling head over heels for his best friend. Finally, he snaps and calls Clint in hopes to find Natasha through him. It happens when he’s out grocery shopping, and he stops by the flower display, thinking that maybe he should pick buy a bouquet for Bucky to cheer him up, since he’d been having a particularly hard morning. Then he mentally slaps himself and picks up a box of donuts instead.

When he gets home, he finds Bucky pacing up and down the living room. As soon as Bucky sees him, he stops in his spot, then heads to the couch and sits down.

Steve licks his lips. “Something wrong, Buck?” he sounds calm, but it’s forced. There’s no staying calm around Bucky these days – he’ll either be worrying about his friend’s mental state or freaking out over the fact that he can’t stop picturing them together, as a couple.

“I, um…” Bucky stutters, fumbling with the drawstrings of his – well, Steve’s – hoodie. “I remembered something.”

Steve takes a deep breath, sets the bags by the kitchen door and walks over, taking a seat next to him. “What is it?”

Bucky looks nervous. He doesn’t dare meet Steve’s eye for longer than a second. “I don’t… I can’t… you’ll hate me.” He says.

“Bucky, I could never hate you.” Steve curls his hand over Bucky’s wrist. His voice is calm, soft, but inside it’s killing him to hear Bucky say those things. “It’s okay, Buck, whatever it is. It’s not your fault. What they did to you-”

“No!” Bucky jumps to his feet and starts pacing the room again. “No, no, no. It’s not…” he trails off and suddenly turns, staring Steve dead in the eye. “It’s from before,” he says, and Steve understands what he means – before HYDRA, before the war, before everything.

Steve leans back on the couch, relaxing slightly. “Then what is it?”

Bucky takes a step forward. He stops, turns around, walks to the front door, then turns to face Steve again. He shuffles from foot to foot as he opens his mouth a couple of times to speak his mind, but every time he decides against it.

Steve sighs. “You can tell me later, okay? Whenever you want, whenever you’re ready.” He puts a hand on his friend’s shoulder and looks at him for a long moment before he turns to head to his room.

“Wait, Steve! I think I love you!”

Steve freezes in his stop. He turns around and stares at Bucky with wide eyes. “What?”

Bucky looks absolutely lost. “I think I’m in love with you. I think… I’ve always been.”

Steve curses out loud and it triggers a series of apologies from Bucky, which are abruptly interrupted when Steve marches forward, grabs Bucky’s face in both hands and kisses him with all he’s got. Bucky moans into the kiss and Steve loses it; he pushes the man against the wall then pulls him close, pressing their bodies together. They kiss, hot and frantic, like they’re each other’s only source of air, even though they’re breathless when they pull away.

Bucky looks absolutely blissful, before realization hits and he frowns again. “You… you don’t hate me for saying that?”

“Fuck, Bucky!” Steve wants to cry or laugh or possibly both, but mostly he wants to continue kissing him. “Of course not, I love you, goddammit.”

A slow smile spreads across Bucky’s face. “You do?”

“More than you can imagine.” Steve smiles fondly, and pushes some of the hair out of Bucky’s face, gazing lovingly into his blue-grey eyes. “Now if you don’t mind, there’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a while now.” he wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist, picks the man up, and throws him over his shoulder.

“Steve!” Bucky gasps. “Steve, what on earth are you doing?”

Steve ignores him. He walks to his bedroom and kicks the door open and drops Bucky on his bed, immediately climbing over him.

“Oh.” Bucky smiles bashfully.

Steve grins at him. “You don’t know for how long I’ve wanted this.” He balances himself on his elbows as he leans over the brunet and presses kisses to his lips, his jawline, and continues with a trail down his neck and shoulders.

“Is this what you thought about when you touched yourself?”

“What?!” Steve jumps up instantly, panicking. “You…you heard me…?”

Bucky reaches up to kiss him. “We do share a wall, you know.” He says as he slips his fingers under Steve’s t-shirt, and drags his fingers over the firm, smooth skin across his stomach and chest. Steve can’t even think about anything else other than where Bucky’s hands currently are, and he raises his arms absent mindedly to help Bucky take his shirt off, then helps Bucky takes off his hoodie.

“Did you also hear…?”

“That time in the bathroom?” Bucky grins as he shifts closer to him. “Yeah,” he drags his mouth across the blonde’s jawline and softly bites on the skin under his hear. “Would you…” he swallows hard. “Would you let me make you scream like that again?”

Steve stutters in response, feeling at a loss for words again. Bucky takes advantage of it and flips him on his back, straddling him immediately. He loses no time in finally unbuttoning the man’s jeans and pulling them off, along with his underwear, and wrapping a firm hand around Steve’s dick.

Steve hisses suddenly, and Bucky pulls away. “What?” he asks, in a panicked voice.

“Sorry. The metal…feels cold.” Steve reaches out and links his hand with Bucky’s metal one, to reassure him that he’s not repulsed by it, then guides Bucky’s other hand back to his crotch. He makes a whimpering sound at the back of his throat as Bucky grabs him again.

“Did you think about _this_?” Bucky smiles confidently now as his hand glides up and down smoothly. He doesn’t wait for a response before he leans down and licks a stripe from the bottom to the top and around the head, while still stroking him slowly.

Steve groans out loud. “Fuck, Bucky!”

Bucky smiles even wider at the reactions he’s eliciting, but his own erection feels tight in his pants, so he strips them off. Then he climbs over Steve again, and aligns his body with Steve’s so that he can wrap a hand around both their cocks. Steve grabs him by his neck and pulls him down, their mouths crashing together again, exchanging wet, messy kisses as they start moving against each other, a frantic rhythm building up rapidly. Steve feels like he’s losing it again, but in new, wonderful ways; he loses himself in the touch of his bare skin against Bucky’s, in the synchronized rhythm of their hips, in the taste of Bucky’s mouth and tongue tangled with his own. He grabs a fistful of the sheets and comes with a broken moan, and Bucky follows soon, collapsing completely as he comes. He rolls over and tries to catch his breath while Steve looks over to him – his best friend? his lover? they’ll figure that out later – and tries to contain the rush of emotion that swells his heart.

“Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

Bucky sighs happily. “Can we do that again, later?

“Mm,” Steve shifts closer, burying his face in the crook of Bucky’s neck and throwing an arm over his chest. “We definitely can.”

Bucky moves even closer to him and drops a chaste kiss to his forehead, which stirs butterflies in Steve’s stomach and turns his cheeks a little pinker.

They’re still naked in bed together when Steve’s phone rings in the early hours of the morning. Bucky’s the one who reaches over to answer it, and he feels the soreness all over his body with every move that he makes – apparently having sex four times in the same night didn’t agree with him completely. He sleepily grumbles something nonsensical into the speakerphone when he finally answers the call.

“Speak fast, Rogers, I don’t have much time. What’s your big problem?” a female voice is heard at the other end of the line and Bucky frowns in confusion. He nudges Steve a few times until the man wakes up and hands him the phone before burying his head under his pillow again.

“Hello?” Steve says as he stifles a yawn.

“Dammit.” he hears Natasha reply in a frustrated tone.

Steve sits up as an alarm goes off in his head. “What’s wrong, Natasha?” he asks, and he can practically see her roll her eyes at him.

“I really hate losing bets to Clint, you know that? I owe him fifty bucks now,” Natasha sighs a little over-dramatically. “Congrats on finding your long lost lover, by the way.” is the last thing she says before the line goes dead.

Steve chuckles to himself before Bucky grabs him with his metal arm and pulls him back to bed.

 


End file.
